Archive for regret

I don’t Want to Go Back

Posted in Poems, Sad Poems with tags , , , , , , on October 6, 2013 by Myra's Circle

I can feel it

In my bones

And I know in my heart

That the dreaded moment is coming

and soon

I’ll have to

Go back there again

And I really

Don’t

Want

To.

When the world comes crashing down

Posted in Love Stories, Sad Stories, Stories with tags , , , , , , on May 22, 2013 by Myra's Circle

The cold penetrated my skin, freezing me right to the bone.  I wished it would stop.  I wished it would just go away.  I knew that it wouldn’t though.  It wasn’t possible.  There was no one left for me.  Everyone had left me, to freeze in this dark, place.  One by one, they all deserted me, like I was never a big part of their lives.  Maybe I wasn’t.  I will die soon, in this dark cold room, but it won’t be soon enough.  My organs will slowly freeze, and shut down, and then I will die, slowly and painfully.  I’ve only been in here for a few moments, but it is enough for me to wish that I had been smarter about everything.  If only…. what if…. those words had been thought so much that they were meaningless.  Everything began to lose it’s meaning.  I wished that they had chosen a different death for me – maybe burning would have been better.  It would have been faster than this pain.  I think a few hours passed, and that’s when I collapsed on the ground, shivering but still alive.  They always said that everyone needs friends.  “Where are they now?”  I muttered to the cold darkness, through my chattering teeth.  I might just have gone insane in that cold metal box.  It was hard to tell.  All that thinking, all that pondering and mulling over the past, maybe I did.  A few more hours passed, and I could feel my body shutting down, like a malfunctioning computer.  I hoped it was the end.  Then someone or something opened a door somewhere inside there, and white light spilled through the crack.  I’m dying, I thought, I’m finally dead!  Relief poured through my body warming it, and cracking the ice.  I was free from this world.

I woke up on a bed, it must have been days later.  The room was simple; white, clean, and not much decoration.  I didn’t know what to make of it.  I was angry, and regretful, that I wasn’t dead.  I was angry that someone had saved me, when I was so desperately close to the end.  Only fate would have it that way.  The only question was, who had saved me?  “I did,” whispered a voice, from the door.  I turned hastily, I recognised that voice.  It was the voice of my sister, the first one to abandon me, the one who led all the others to hate me.  “But why?”  I asked, sure that it was some mistake.  “Because you’re my sister, and sisters love each other.”  I cried, and ran to her, and she hugged me, and gently rocked me back and forth, whispering, “It’s OK, it’ll all be OK,” just like she used to.  Before the world came crashing down on me.

Darkness, Love me, when No one else Will.

Posted in Poems, Sad Poems with tags , , , , , , , on May 5, 2013 by Myra's Circle

This darkness,
This sweet, deadly darkness,
Is suffocating me,
I can’t breathe,

I’m surely going to die one day,
Because of this most horrid pain,
I regret many things, but out of all,
I regret even existing at all.

The darkness is taking my mind away,
I’m going mad, I think, today,
And this pain is way too much, you see,
Oh, how I hate being me.

I hate myself, and all my brokenness,
I hate not being  good enough,
I despise the things that make me sad,
Like my helplessness, and being mad.

How do I tell them I’m not OK,
That I want to die more and more with each day?
How do I explain just how I feel,
When they won’t listen to something so real.

They won’t understand how cold this darkness,
Or how much I wish to escape it,
They don’t understand me at all,
I don’t ever recall being so small.

I’m Different

Posted in Poems, Sad Poems with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 9, 2013 by Myra's Circle

I sing though happiness does not come,

I laugh but it is a laugh not happy for some,

I smile but it’s a disguise for my pain,

I tease, but none will remember my name.

I smile though it’s hard through all the tears,

I smile though it’s hard through all these years,

I remember things that others forget,

And smile upon memories that many regret.

I’m different from them, that much is clear,

No one there will find me dear,

But if I try I’ll get strange looks,

I think I’ll go back to reading my books.

Empty Sighs

Posted in Hopeful Poems, Poems, Sad Poems with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 13, 2012 by Myra's Circle

Empty sighs penetrate the air,

Full of mystery, heartlessness,

Yet full of care.

No-one knows how careless,

I feel.

Hoping,

Needing,

Seeking regret,

Giving or taking,

Just another bet.

Just another person,

In just another day,

In just another world.

In just another way.

Smiles are Painful

Posted in Angry Poems, Hopeful Poems, Poems, Sad Poems with tags , , , , , , , , on August 7, 2012 by Myra's Circle

Anger,

I cry inside,

Smile cheerfully,

Hate.

Angry,

I feel betrayed,

Sob painfully,

Seethe.

Angrier,

I turn and scream,

“Why bother?”

Collapse.

Pain,

I hope it’s not real,

But it is,

Disappointment.