I spend so much time,
Thinking these things,
Writing on paper,
Then ripping it up,
And starting,
All over again.
I spend this time,
Wondering who I am,
To judge another,
When I am,
So imperfect.
Day to day,
Night to night,
I’m plagued by this guilt,
Of a crime not committed.
I spend all this time,
Saying “What if?”
Wondering,
Thinking,
Hoping,
And I don’t want to anymore.
Don’t judge me,
You can’t judge me,
Not unless you,
Have experienced my pain,
My hurt,
My tears,
Endured with fake smiles,
Pretended for others,
Killed yourself inside,
Destroyed your soul,
Thought about things,
Like:
Disappearing,
Dying,
Losing everything,
Memories,
Sadnesses,
Revenge on yourself.
So stop judging,
Start seeing,
Me,
And not who you think I am.
Because until you,
Have seen through my eyes,
Have seen through my soul,
You’ll see why I die,
Inside.
