She Can’t Stop Pretending

I smile the day away,
Crying myself to sleep,
When really I just need a way,
For a sleep so deep.

I’m wishing for something,
Some help, maybe,
My heart no longer sings,
I can no longer see,

Why I’m important at all,
Why I matter,
Why I can’t just be small,
Why, just why – which is really sadder?

I have an empty patch,
Right where my heart should be,
And an empty mind to match,
That monster is killing me.

I harm myself on the outside,
Even though I know,
The monster’s on the inside,
It’s heart as cold as snow.

I think I need some help right now,
Something I cannot ask from me,
I do not quite know how,
To keep you from saving me.

I don’t deserved to be saved, I don’t,
But you don’t realise that, do you?
If you want me to thank you, I won’t,
And I’ll never understand you.

I cannot stop hating me,
No matter how I try,
There’s nothing I would give to be,
Someone who never cries.

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