Mashed Up Feelings


I know that one day,
Some day,
You will destroy me,
You will rip out my heart,
And shatter it with your pitiless soul,
And leave me broken,

As I once was.
Though I know this,
I cannot help but feel,
So happy, inside,
But part of me,
Oh, that awful part of me,
Cries out in endless pain.

Perhaps it is because I am scared,
Of the pain I may feel,
When I’m close to the end,
And you destroy me completely.

You will tear apart my soul,
Leave it in tatters,
And brutally murder me,
But I do not care.

Is it fear, or perhaps something else?
Something much worse,
Much, much more deadly,
Then a terror worse than death,
Much more than loneliness,
Just like regret.

Regret is the voice that sings louder than most,
I know this, though I haven’t known,
What it feels like,
To regret to live.

I am only a child,
Not worth much now,
I don’t know anything,
About myself,
Or about anything, really.

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