For Now


This beauty I see, is it really?  Beauty is just a mask, a cover for the pain within.  People suffer pain, and so does the earth.  You can see it in the trees, in the flowers, the way they don’t droop in sadness, much as they want to.  They are an example to us, to not bow down to the pain that swells deep inside us.  They show us incredible strength, and are, perhaps, stronger than any person could ever hope to be.  This beautiful mask I cower behind, is beginning to fall apart.  People begin to see the ugly thing lurking beneath my skin.  This ugly thing, is pain, hurt, regret.  It hides in the darkness of people’s minds, and preys on them in their moments of weakness.  My strength is collapsing.  This monster inside is starting to consume me.  Soon, I will be nothing more than an empty shell made entirely of regret.  And that will be the thing that I regret the most.  I cannot let this monster win, cannot let it make me a broken girl.  Tears no longer come when they are summoned.  What is the point?  They only make me feel bad.  But which is worse?  Never crying, instead dwelling on the monster within, or crying until my heart is empty of tears?  I don’t know the difference anymore.  I am losing, falling,

falling,

falling.

Then I feel something lift me up, of the cold, dead ground.  It is hope.  Hope wells in my eyes in the form of tears.  I let them fall.  I have won the war inside of me.  The monster is gone.  For now.

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