I Will Be Okay


I will be okay.  I will be okay, I repeat to myself, over and over.  I take a deep breath in, and with it come all the memories from last night.  I let out a strangled cry.  I will be okay.  Tears streamed down my cheeks.  I had cried so much over the past few days that I would be able to drown myself in tears.  The knife flashed before my eyes and I felt like throwing up.  It was only when I felt around my mouth that I realised that I had.  Kasey, my best friend shot through my mind like a bullet.  A bullet.  Yet another killing device.  My knees buckled beneath me and I collapsed on the ground, exhausted.  I cried myself into the dark void that was sleep.  My dreams were of Kasey.

 

We were joking around with knives, something that we never should have done.  We were acting out a scene of a movie, and it was so much fun.  I was laughing so hard that I dropped the knife and it plunged into Kasey’s chest.  They called an ambulance, but it was too late.  Kasey was dead.  And it was my fault.

 

I woke up, screaming with agony.  I will be okay, I repeated again, then a horrible little voice in my head whispered, maybe you will be, but Kasey’s not.  Kasey’s dead.  The knife was still hidden under my bed.  I scrambled for it.  I looked at its ugly blade, twisted by Kasey’s dry blood.  I pressed the knife’s blade deep under the skin on my wrist, watching the blood flow freely out.  I closed my eyes and wished for darkness.  At last.

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